Who says you can’t always get what you want? You can, more often than not.

Once in a while I’m hit (in the face) with a simple notion that is so profound it makes me say the perfunctory ‘but of course’. This one by Toby Sinclair is one of those. I’m going to share it verbatim as it was shared with me.

For those who don’t know Toby Sinclair, he is worth following. A software developer turned coach, his website offers summaries of books worth reading, an interesting blog and some useful tips if you are a leaders. And of course I am promoting another coach, I think his content is good. Check him out.

In the meantime, here is what he says about getting more of what you want:

How to get more of what you want
I met my hero. Here’s how it went down:I’m coaching a leadership team in Buenos Aires. I wake to screaming fans outside the hotel. Confused, I stroll to breakfast. I sip coffee. Then I see. The band I adore. Sitting a few meters away. Radiohead. A frantic Google search. They are playing this weekend. Tickets SOLD OUT. Damn. I need to get to that show. How can I get what I want? I have options.
Option 1.I can tell them.“I want tickets for your show.”
Direct, but they might think who is this crazy stalker?
Option 2I can ask.“Can I have tickets for the show?”
The type of question most people ask. But it’s a bad question. It puts people on the spot. Forcing a Yes or No. It’s usually asked with a begging voice. Can I….? Pretty please!
Option 3 I can ask a better question: “How can I get tickets to the show?” This type of question works because: It’s an open question.
The key word is “how” It gets them to solve your problem. It demonstrates genuine curiosity. I take option 3. The result. 2 x VIP tickets. To get more of what you want, take option 3.
How can I get a pay rise?
How can I get a promotion?
How can I get an upgrade?

Toby Sinclair

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